HALLOWEEN KNIGHT: The Wrath of Gardalo
by MegaSam777
Summary: In this short one-off on MegaSam's DARK KNIGHT series, Batman must join forces with the Merc With A Mouth, Deadpool in order to stop an evil demon god from controlling the world for many millenia containing zombies and evil itself. In Deadpool, Batman will find frustration and confusion, but also the true definition of what it means to join others and fight the good fight!
1. INTRODUCTION

_It was Halloween in Gotham _

_and the ghouls were afoot . . ._

_And Batman was out, _

_criminals in hospital he hoped to put_

_Children were running away from the fear,_

_Only sounds of screaming and pain they did hear._

_But on this night, the Batman would find_

_something evil and bad,_

_that would- _fuck it, I'm not rhyming anymore.

Why the hell do people like rhyming words and trying to sound smart? It takes too long to tell a story. I can rephrase that story ten times better. Are you ready? Here we go . . .

_It was Halloween in Gotham. And Batman was about to fuck shit up. He's gonna fight an evil zombie king and a whole band of zombie warriors. _

What's so hard about that? Actually, I don't even need to tell the rest of the story. It's all right there. Good vs. Evil. Right? But if I know people, and I do, they love a story. Made-up crap that we usually have to make up as we go along. Anyway, I'm sure you want to hear it, don't you? Anyhow, let me give you some info about me before we go on. My name is Wade Wilson. Most comic nerds know me as Deadpool. I wear the red and black outfit, look like a meth-addict Spider-Man with guns, and has all those voices in his head. If you don't know who I am, I got four words for you. Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. Here. Don't even count the words. I know it's four.

OK. OK. Just enjoy the story. It's a good one.

**SPOILERS BELOW . . . . . . . . . . . . .**

**SPOILERS DO NOT READ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .**

**I'M DEAD SERIOUS. DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER.**

**FINE.**

You asked for it.

Bruce Wayne is Batman.


	2. Happy Halloween

"Will you be home for trick-or-treating tonight?" Alfred Pennyworth asked his ward, the guardian of Gotham, the Batman.

"No, Alfred. I won't. Following up a lead on the National Muesum of History. A Mayan tablet that was their version of the Book of the Dead has been stolen by a gang of men wearing dark capes and blue hoods. They told the guards that it would be used to cause Hell to be unleashed upon the Earth." Batman replied, standing on top of a large building and watching the city below him.

"Hm. Could it be anymore cliche?"

"Of course not." Batman said with a smirk, leaping off the roof of the Farland Bank Insitute and soaring off into the night.

"Happy Halloween." Alfred said simply through the radio.

* * *

><p>Vlad Baedguy, a London-born millionaire, smiled as he watched his henchmen remove the casing of the Book of the Dead with crowbars. After one more strong pull, the stone broke apart, revealing the gloriously dark book. Rocky dust flew in the low light and the room and Baedguy blew it away and looked at the book with awe. The henchmen gasped and watched as their leader rubbed the front of it with his gloved fingers. He could feel the evil inside it, aching to escape and consume everything. The newest recruit to the group, Michael, was shocked by the deity on the front of the book. It was a grey cat's face; except for the body of a man and the teeth were extended to the bottom of the chin. Michael watched as Vlad laugh loudly and lightning struck outside, the thunder shaking the warehouse where they were hiding.<p>

"Now, my dark lord, you can arise again and reign over all. Bring darkness to all the lands of the Earth and hold power for 40,000 years. Gardalo... this is your time!" Vlad whispered to himself.

"Um... Mr. Baedguy?" Michael asked.

Vlad gave his newest recruit a look and looked at him with a devilish smile as lightning struck again.

"What was that again, son?" he asked, the European accent coming out slightly in his voice.

"Oh, I was asking what happens after the 40,000 years of darkness? Does good take over again?" he asked in an innocent way.

Vlad smiled and walked toward Michael with his arms wide open. Not known to the henchmen, a small mechanism launched a dagger into Vlad's hand and he swiped the blade across Michael's neck as he responded to the gesture. Blood and air escape quickly through the open slit in his neck and he fell to his knees before Vlad stabbed the knife into the middle of his chest repeatedly, blood shooting out and covering the cold floor in sticky red liquid. Vlad leapt up, the dagger dripping with the blood. The leader licked the dull side and collapsed to the floor in relief and then, immediate disgust.

"Ugh!" he spat out words and blood.

"_Type__ B_."

He threw the blade down, looking through the book as he wiped the nasty blood from the corners of his mouth. He found the page he was looking for; filled with incantations of the Mayan language and crude drawings of various demons they believed in. He ran his fingers across the 'undead' spell and smiled as he looked at the full moon through the glass skylight above them. Rain pelted down and ran down the sides of the windows as lightning struck once again. He looked at Michael's dead body and sent a hand motion telling some of the henchmen to bring his corpse near. They slid it across to the wooden crate the book rested on and his body slumped against the side, fresh blood continuing to drip from his open mouth. Vlad looked at the body and looked at the Book of the Dead before grabbing Michael's hand and letting blood drip onto the page. It was almost like a target, the drawn-on circle made directly for the victim's blood to lay to awaken the great dark god of darkness.

The blood dripped onto the page and the henchmen backed up as the book shook for a moment and Vlad laughed loudly. The book vibrated on the crate and exploded the wooden crate beneath it, the book floating with the help of some unknown force. Michael's body fell to the floor and Vlad touched the book, feeling the demon lord surging through the pages. The rain kicked up along with the wind, soaring through the miniscule cracks of the warehouse. The rain swirled around in the air around Gotham and Vlad began to shake as well.

**(CUE DRAMATIC MUSIC!)**

**DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN!** _Sorry, Deadpool here. I apologize but I have to take a shit real quick. Are you guys comfortable with reading for yourself? I sure hope so because I feel one pushing out through my back end. BRB. #thatpoopflowdoe_

"Gardalo! We are here to guide you back into the realm of the living! Feel our spirits and take what you need! Feed off of their souls and use this one to spread your greatness!" Vlad yelled, holding up Michael's body and laughing as wind soared from the book itself.

Immediately, a lightning bolt struck through the skylight, creating a white light that blinded the men and sent Vlad flying backward into the henchmen. They all watched in awe as Michael's body was filled with the electricity and he began to groan. His body convulsed and green smoke emanated from the Book of the Dead, circling him and blocking him from view. The sound of the pouring rain and thunder blocked out most of his noises but a few of them heard various cracks and rips within his body. He screamed like a normal human being for a second before hearing a disturbing deep voice that boomed across the warehouse aggressively.

"GARDALO IS HEEEEEEEEERE! DO MY BIDDING, SERVANT! SPREAD MY SEED OF DESTRUCTION AND CARRY MY EVIL ACROSS THE LANDS!"

Vlad laughed in triumph and raised both of his hands in the air as the book glowed green, floating around Michael and sucking out the rest of what remained of his human soul into it. A loud boom occurred, destroying the book and blowing the resurrected Michael into the ceiling. Vlad bowed down to the energy form of Gardalo as the dark shadow appeared, shattering every window in the warehouse and sending a gigantic lightning strike into the building, the electric current shooting all across the city, sending it into a temporary blackout.

Gardalo roared loudly and tore the roof off of the warehouse, laughing in victory as he spotted every light in Gotham shut off. Vlad crawled to the wall, in great shock as rain blinded his vision and he watched Gardalo form into a dark tornado that reached to the clouds. He disappeared and the wind howled, rain spitting across the warehouse and tearing it completely apart. The henchmen ran for their life, screaming in fear as a few of them were sucked up into the storm and a few were killed by debris. Vlad spotted one of them cowering in fear and grabbed him, smiling as he thought of a plan.

"Come, my boy! We have to save Michael and get away from here!" Vlad yelled to him as the storm continued to howl and a few of the henchmen followed their great leader.

They ran after Michael's body, tossing over a crate covering him and watching him growl menacingly. His eyes were growing green and his skin had become cold and dark grey. Vlad backed up and commanded them to uncover him, aware of what was about to happen. Vlad looked to the sky, wiping the water from his face and flipping his long brown hair backward. When he returned his look to the henchmen 'helping' Michael, the dead henchmen bit one of them across the neck, taking out a juicy part of shoulder meat and making him scream in pain. The other two tried their best to attack him but the undead strength he possessed made them powerless. Vlad watched in satisfaction as hit bit off one of the man's faces and chewed on the thick bones of the cheek. Blood ran down his jaw and he growled loudly, snapping the survivors neck and ripping the little man's head off.

He drank the blood from the unattached throat and let it run down him like a gigantic keg of beer. He roared to the sky, bloody fingers and hands pointing to the moon. His eyes pulsed a light green and he ran at one of the escaping henchmen as the rain began to slow. The henchmen tried to punch him but Michael caught it with his mouth, chomping down on two knuckles and letting him run off in pain. Vlad laughed in ecstasy, calmly approaching Michael and seeing if he was safe from the deadly undead. He held his hands up and saw that Michael was calmer around him, observing his eyes instead of the jugular. Vlad gulped and looked around seeing the henchmen missing a shoulder stand up and begin to groan like Michael as well. Vlad gulped loudly again and looked up in the sky, seeing lightning trace across the sky. He drew his knife and looked around, seeing the two undeads approach him with hungry eyes and appetites.

"It's me! Your leader! You cannot harm me!" Vlad yelled, scared to death as the undead covered him and began to devour him as well.


	3. Strange Reports of Flesh-Eating Zombies

"Where's the Black Mask, Harrison? Tell me now!" Batman said, punching the junkie across the jaw as he flew into the rusty Dumpster behind him.

His behind slumped hard into a muddy puddle as the Dark Knight neared the end of his interrogation. He picked up the dazed drug dealer and growled in his face before drawing a batarang from his utility belt. The bat-shaped knife flipped into his gloved palm and he held it firm against Harrison's forehead. He looked into his eyes and watched as the dealer began to break down and cry.

"Okay, what design would you like? Christian cross? Butterfly? Pretty flower? Hm?" Batman asked as he pressed the sharp end into his skin.

Before he could press any deeper, the sky above them lit up bright blue and a loud rumble echoed across the city. Batman and Harrison looked to the sky, watching as rain shot down harder than before, blinding the both of them before a load roar could be heard citywide. Batman looked at the frightened Harrison and the vigilante proceeded to knock him out with an aerosol can full of sleeping gas. He swatted the gas's mist away and looked at the giant stormcloud beginning to form over the whole of Gotham.

"Could you hear that?" Batman asked Alfred through the cowl.

"Yes, sir. What was that? A storm has been approaching but they don't shake the ground." the loyal butler responded.

Batman began to respond but then, all of Gotham went dark. Communications to the Batcave were shut down and immediately, Batman heard the sounds of cars crashing and people screaming in fear. He looked around, trying to cut on the night vision feature on his cowl but finding no luck. Rain continued to pour and only the bright moon provided light. Batman walked from the murky alley he was in and into the street, watching as cars were dead in the roads, crashing into each other and hitting people and buildings. He jumped out of the way and saved a young man from death as a dumptruck slid across the slick road, hitting the sides of parked cars as it continued to slide down the slightly steep roadway. Batman got up quickly and ran to help others as the lights flickered back on seconds later. Batman watched as cars restarted and people got out to witness the Batman in the middle of a street helping others.

Batman fired his grapnel gun at a tall building and left without any other quick actions. He climbed over the edge of the building and Alfred's signature beeped spread across the whole cowl.

"Master Bruce! Are you okay?"

"Yes. A blackout temporarily knocked out all the power in Gotham. I suspect even the Batcave was hit?"

"Yes, sir. Only for a moment."

"Maybe that's all these blackouters needed." Batman said to himself through closed teeth.

Alfred's throat cleared and he spoke clearer into the microphone.

"What was that, sir?"

"This was a planned event. No EMP can do something like that. I have the signature of first impact. I'm going to find out what happened."

Batman was already busy on his mini-PC device, finding the location of the blackout's epicenter. He found the signal and quickly called the Batwing to take him to his destination.

* * *

><p>"He rocks in the tree tops all day long... Hoppin' and a-boppin' and singing his song ...All the little birdies on Jaybird Street..." Joell Hoffman sung to himself as he refilled the shelves at the Stagg Stopp gas station.<p>

He spun around the small package of pistachios and hung two more on the hook while the ceiling lights flickered again. Joell ignored the lights and continued his work, listening to _Rockin' Robin_ on the speakers. The store was empty, save for the local drunk who was buying three six packs of a cheap beer brand. He stunk of the moldy jacket he wore and his long beard always had clumps of leftover food not caught by his always-hungry mouth. Joell was proud of his work at the small nut shelf and nodded to it before running over to the counter. He slid overtop of it, much like a hero in an action film and clicked his tongue as the drunk handed over the money for the beer. A price or any other words weren't needed, this was a weekly pattern. After the drunk left, Joell grabbed his phone and began to text his three friends. You could tell he was a loser because his phone background was his own face. That fat, redheaded, freckled-faced bastard.

_Yep, Deadpool's back. Sorry. I don't really like gingers. No souls. You know how it is._

"Be quick, guys." he said to himself after his friends agreed to drive to the Stagg Stopp and be there within ten minutes.

He slapped his phone shut and continued to listen to the tunes on the radio. He started tapping his foot lightly and sat down in his swivel chair, not expecting another customer for quite a while. He shut his eyes and leaned back, taking a moment to relax. He sat there for five minutes as 50's classics whizzed by his ears and the sound of footsteps got louder and louder. He heard the glass door collide slightly with something and he flicked his eyes open, seeing a large man wearing a black cape and blue hood at the door. He was startled for a second but sat up anyway, waiting for the man to enter.

"Bra..." the man said in a long and hard-to-understand groan.

Joell was weary of looking at the man again and saw his face as his head lifted up to the light inside the station. Joell leaped up from his chair, shoving it in front of him and gulping loudly. The man's face was covered in blood and it was covered in a dried brown fluid that seeped out of pores in its skin.

"Holy shit! Ebola's back!" Joell yelled loudly, tripping over the cord that warmed up the hot dogs. He leapt up from the tile floor and when he looked over the counter, the man was gone. Joell breathed with a wheeze, seeing the viscous fluid trailing down the door. Joell grabbed his phone and quickly dialed 9-1-1. He locked the door and looked outside, hardly seeing anything in the hazy air. The streets were empty besides a few passerby and a helicopter that blinked its red lights above the clouds.

"9-1-1, what is your emergency?" the female responder asked.

"Yes! I'm at the Stagg Stopp Gas Station and there was a man trying to open the door. His face was oozing with some brown gunk and he was saying something. I can't find him and I think he's going to come back!" Joell said.

"Okay, sir. Stay inside and wait. An officer is on the way."

"Thank you!"

Joell hung up the phone and looked outside the left window, staring at the gas pumps to see if the man had hidden behind them. As he pushed his head out to the glass, the man flew at him from the corner of the building, slamming his disgusting face against the window and growling loudly with cloudy green eyes. Joell flew back and grabbed the nearest thing to him, a metal DVD rack. He held it out in front of him and watched as three more people, looking similar in appearance to the man gathered beside him, slamming their heads and arms into the glass.

"Brains!" one of them yelled.

Now, it was clear. These guys wanted brains.

* * *

><p>"What do we have here?" asked Timmy Meccock to his friend as they sat at the toll booth that connected the lower section of Gotham to the middle side.<p>

His friend, Agnes Fort looked out her side of the booth and her heart skipped at the disturbing site. There were at least thirty men and women, all covered in what appeared to be blood, heading toward the toll booth. In the sepia overtone provided by the streetlight, the slumped over individuals looked like horror movie zombies. Their feet dragged, their shoulders crooked, and arms hung low. The two tollbooth workers watched as the people threw up blood and brown fluid violently. Timmy jumped out of the booth and held his hands up, 20 feet away from the strange crowd.

"Whoa! Whoa! What's going on here?" he asked.

The people only responded with raspy screams and gutteral noises that were a threat. Timmy stepped back a few feet and his hands started shaking when the people gained speed in their strut, quickly behind him. He ran back to the toll booth and quickly shut the door, Agnes screaming in fear.

"What is wrong with them, Tim? They're throwing up blood!" she cried.

"They've got some kind of virus. We need to close the bridge! Now!" Timmy said, grabbing the changing switch and pulling it back as hard as he could. The two of the looked at the bridge and watched in agonizing horror as it didn't move. Timmy reset the switch and slammed it back again. As before, nothing changed. Agnes screamed loudly as one of the people ran at the toll booth, slamming into it and dislocation their left shoulder. She hit Timmy's back hard and became claustrophobic in the small room as over ten of the infected people circled the toll booth and desperately tried to come in.

Timmy slammed the control panel as a few of the dazed people began to make their way across the bridge. Agnes was nearly knocked out as one of the bigger people punched the back window open, glass flying everywhere as he grabbed her hair. She punched him across the chin and he grabbed her whole arm, biting deep into her hand. Blood gushed out and veins popped loudly as she shoved herself off of him. Timmy grabbed his Swiss Army Knife and and stabbed it into the man's left eye. The man jerked back and was gone, swallowed by the swarm of attackers. He looked as at least ten of the people were halfway across the bridge.

"The blackout! It messed up the controls! I can't stop them!" Timmy yelled as more and more brown hands busted their way into the toll booth.

As they accepted their fate, both Agnes and Timmy's blood shot across the broken windows as the infected people breached the booth.

* * *

><p>Joell was in absolute fear. He watched as the local drunk screamed in fear, using his broken whiskey bottle to fend off the hoard of brain-eating people. Joell held onto the DVD rack with all his might, struggling to keep his composure. The infected were growling loudly and smearing their horrifying faces against the glass of the doors. Outside, he heard police sirens and ran to the left side of the gas station, seeing the patrol show up.<p>

"Shoot 'em!" Joell yelled.

He watched in anxiety as the officer immediately spoke loudly into his radio and backed up against his car while pulling out his baton. Joell tapped loudly on the window, hoping to catch the officer's attention as two of the infected people grabbed his right arm and took two large chunks out of it. Dark red blood spurted in their faces and the officer screamed in pain, whacking their heads hard with the baton and pulling out his gun with his left hand. He fired as fast as he could, the rounds tearing through their chests and alerting the rest of the infected to his location behind them. Joell watched in horror as the officer was surrounded by the infected and he continued to shoot, alerting the GCPD to send backup.

The officer jumped on top of his car and fired two more rounds, hitting an infected person twice in the head, their skull exploding in a wonderful explosion of brain, blood, and internal body fluid. The officer spotted Joell through the glass door and shook his head slowly as three infected people climbed onto the patrol car and growled loudly. The officer looked at his bite and screamed loudly, jumping off the car, getting bit and scratched violently as he shoved his way through the crowd of infected and ran for the door. Joell quickly flipped it open with the homeless man jumping in as well. Just as the infected began to follow them, Joell slammed the door shut, a hoard of twenty infected clawing and growling loudly in hunger.

"Oh my God! What in the hell is going on?" the officer said, groaning as he pressed hard on the wounds across his arms and back.

"Zombies, dude! It's from the Ebola, I swear!" Joell responded, watching as the homeless guy jumped behind the counter and grabbed a new bottle of whiskey.

"Zombies? Don't be stupid. Got any bandages?"

"I'm sorry, officer." Joell said, looking quickly between the DVD rack and the officer's head.

"But I'm going to have to kill you now." He raised the DVD rack and prepared to swing.

* * *

><p>"Alfred, I don't think I heard that correctly." Batman said with a startled voice.<p>

"No, sir! You did! I have records of seven incoming calls reporting on the fact!" his butler replied through his radio as he flew the Batwing across Gotham Harbor and heading to the outskirts of Gotham where the strange reports were coming from.

Batman looked underneath the flying vehicle and onto the streets below as Alfred played a recent 911 call from a panicked woman.

"_911, what is your emergency_?"

"Yes, I have three people outside my house right now and they are trying to break in!"

"_Okay ma'am, what is your addres_s?"

"Oh, God! They are eating a man's face in the streets?"

"_Wait, what_?"

Batman saw the hoard of at least thirty people running along the streets, grabbing the scared citizens and being torn apart by the infected people. Alfred played another clip as Batman prepared to land.

"I need the police here, quick!"

"_What's wrong, sir_?"

"There's zombies in the yard! They ate my dog and got my mom! Send everybody you got! Get some guns. They crossed the bridge!"

Batman landed the Batwing and immediately, the infected people ran at him, growling loudly as he prepared to strike. A woman with glowing green eyes and fresh blood running down her neck ran at the Batman and he punched her in the chest, grabbing her arm and slamming her against the side of the Batwing. She was growling loudly and her teeth made a loud sound when she tried to bite his gloved hand. Batman grabbed a small syringe from his utility belt and quickly extracted a full cylinder of her blood from her left buttock. She screamed at him and he attempted to quickly knock her out with a sharp hit to the jaw.

He threw her off from the Batwing and watched as she didn't go down. Batman raised an eyebrow and saw as she attacked him again, tackling him and snapping her bloody teeth at his face. Batman head butted her as three more infected individuals came running at him. He withdrew a fistful of batarangs and flung it at them, the knives hitting their chest and without any emotion, the infected continued to come close. Batman was shocked and was nearly bit in the cheek before he flicked his cape at the infected woman. He backed up behind the Batwing and alerted Alfred.

"Um... Alfred." he said quickly.

"Sir?" the butler responded with a worried voice.

"I think those reports of flesh-eating zombies are true. We're in trouble."


	4. Gas Station Survival

"Alfred! I coming back to the cave. I need to analyze this blood sample." Batman said, quickly taking down two more infected persons before climbing aboard the Batwing and shooting off into the sky.

"Sir, they are pouring into the city. You need to stop them." Alfred responded.

"I can't! There's too many of them."

"We need to try, sir. We can't let this thing become widespread. Imagine all of the lives that will be lost. What if it grows to where you cannot contain it?"

"I'll be able to. Right now, I need to find out what this stuff really is." Batman said. He sat down the full syringe of zombie blood and shot across the skies of Gotham, seeing the mass of zombies invading main Gotham. He grunted loudly and looked down again, realizing what he needed to do. He secured the syringe box inside the glove compartment box in front of him and set the Batwing for automized return to the cave.

"I'm to try and stop it. Analyze the sample and tell me what happens as soon as you get results." Batman said to Alfred before pressing the release lever and immediately flying through the sky, using his cape to glide across the skyscrapers and city streets below.

He aimed for a high rooftop and folded the cape around him, dropping with fantastic speed before hitting the edge of the roof and withdrawing his high-powered binoculars. He needed to think of a plan. A containment initiative to keep these things at bay and keep the rest of the city safe from the infection. He saw a mass of three dozen running across the streets, attacking pedestrians and attempting to get inside moving cars, a few of the zombie being hit and instantly killed. He watched as more and more people were being bit and he immediately dropped to the street, knocking out the zombies and trying to prevent them from being bit.

"It's the Batman!" yelled one of the dumbshits who surprisingly forgot they lived in Gotham.

* * *

><p><em>Hi, I'm back again. Who is writing this shitty stuff? This MegaSam dude? I'm telling the story but I swear I didn't make it up myself. How in the HELL are these people still surprised about the Batman? Let's go through the facts:<em>

_1: Everyone was aware of his existence when the Joker announced it to the world._

_2: Were these people asleep when a meteorite nearly took out Metropolis and were saved by Batman and the Boy Scout?_

_3: Never mind, since Batman doesn't really exist, this whole debate doesn't matter. _

_Sorry, back to the story._

* * *

><p>"Wait, who are you?" asked Joell as Batman stood in front of them, covered in blood and the guts of dead zombies.<p>

He took a deep breath finally and dropped the two bloody batarangs. He slammed the doors shut behind him and eyed the bitten police officer behind the counter with multiple bandages all across his body. Batman looked at Joell with the dented DVD rack and looked at the two dead zombies piled on top of one another.

"Really?" Batman replied with a growl.

"Are you... are you the Batman?"

Batman didn't reply, only walking past Joell and activating the portable T.V. He watched the news and was shocked by what he saw. The reporters were gone and only screaming was heard behind the deactivated green screen background and then suddenly, Jack Ryder's bloodied face popped in front of the camera, screaming as he ran away from something on the right.

"Oh, God!" Batman said quietly to himself, watching as six newly created zombies attacked and ate him alive for all of Gotham to see.

* * *

><p><em>Oh, crap. I went too far. Sorry, Megasam. Shit, I skipped like three chapters. I could go back but... nah. I could give you a recap but that takes too long and it's not really needed.<em>

_I wonder. though..._

* * *

><p>Before Joell could say something else, a loud bang was heard through the ceiling and Batman withdrew a fresh batarang, with Joell, the cop, and the hobo all raising their respective weapons. The tiles moved, dust crumbled down from the disruption, and Joell saw the panels begin to crack.<p>

"Look out below, you mothereffers!" screamed a loud and sexy voice from the ceiling as it collapsed.

Out from the ceiling fell a muscular, extremely heroic-looking man wearing black and red spandex along with a red mask with white circles around the eyes. He wore two swords on his back, multiple pistols attached to a utility belt, and grenades and extra ammo on a secondary belt across his chest. Batman looked at him suspiciously and wiped blood from the left side of his cowl as he shined a light on him. The man groaned and cracked his back loudly, letting out a high-pitched yelp in satisfaction. Batman and Joell stood beside each other and briefing exchanged glances before walking toward the dressed up man.

"Who the hell are you supposed to be?" Joell asked.

"Hello! I'm Deadpool. Hold on a sec. Gotta explain something to the readers, first." Deadpool said, holding up his hand to Joell's face and standing in front of all of them.

"Readers?" Batman mumbled before Deadpool shushed him sharply.

Deadpool ignored the Dark Knight's comment and cleared his throat loudly before speaking.

"Hello, true believers! Let's hope the copyright douches won't sue us for that quote! Anyhow, I've decided to come into the story and explain what happened since I got too crazy on the forward button. Anyhow, after Batman touched down on the streets of Gotham, he learned that zombies can be stop if you _cut off connection to the brain_. Of course, our dear, delusional Dark Knight has a little 'code' that says he won't kill but he was consoled after Alfred told him that zombies are... well, dead. Cop out, I know. Anyhow, he's been battling for about two hours now until he's found our fat ginger and that cop in the back that's going to die and become one of them real soon."_  
><em>

"Were you stalking me?" Batman asked.

"_Fat ginger_?" Joell said quietly to himself.

"I'm going to 'what'?" the cop asked in the back.

"None of that matters." Deadpool said, turning around on one leg and walking toward Batman and Joell.

"Big fan. Love the ears, the cape, the dumb villains who keep escaping when you can obviously just kill them. All that jazz." Deadpool said, shaking Batman's hand for a moment before he pulled it away.

"Who are you?" Batman asked, grabbing Deadpool by his chest belt and holding the sharp batarang against his throat.

"I'm Wade Wilson. Marvel Comics. How are you?"

Batman growled and slammed the batarang closer, piercing through the suit and drawing a small speck of blood.

"I got some news for you, Bats. That's not going to do any good." Deadpool said, tapping the tip of the knife before slamming it into his neck.

Batman backed up in shock, watching as Deadpool gasped for air and blood poured out from the large wound now in his neck. Deadpool fell down to his knees, screaming to the high heavens in pain before hitting the ground hard; a puddle of blood forming below his head.

"Oh my God. What just happened?" Joell asked as Batman quickly bent down beside him.

"You just witnessed the 1,922th death of a mutant. I have the 'X' gene that doesn't exist in this universe." Deadpool replied, scaring Batman as he shot up, the batarang stick out of the middle of his throat.

"Mutant?" Batman asked.

"Yep. I think you call them metahumans here."

"In this universe? What does that mean?" Batman asked.

"Oh... you wouldn't even begin to understand. It's really complicated." Deadpool laughed as suddenly, zombies began tapping at the window.

"Wow. I'm surprised those zombies didn't try to attack when we were talking. And vulnerable." Joell said, looking at them through the glass door.

"Yep. Ain't that a neat coincidence?" Deadpool replied.

Batman groaned loudly and looked up at the broken ceiling in confusion. He looked at Deadpool and put his hands in front of his face.

"How did you get here?"

"If you want to get technical... it involves advanced quantum physics and the spiritual power of a writer. But in simpleton terms..." Deadpool said, thinking for a moment.

"_Magic_."

He gave jazz hands and snapped his fingers in front of Batman's face. Batman grabbed his hands and cracked his fingers until they bent backwards. Deadpool gave a small squeak full of pain and jerked his hands away, pushing them back into place as his mutant healing factor took over his body. It healed both his throat wound and his broken fingers.

"Goddamn, man! Didn't your parents raise you right? Or were you an orphan or something?" Deadpool screamed.

_It was at this moment that Deadpool knew... that he had fucked up_.

**two minutes later**

Deadpool flew into the peanut shelf at high velocity, covered in blood and gas station goods. He was stuck with over fifteen batarangs and had been beaten with everything from a loaf of bread to a hot dog spinner. Batman had beaten the absolute shit out of him. Word of advice to the Merc With A Mouth: never insult an orphan by calling them as such. They didn't like it.

"Okay! I think we're done here. At least I am." Deadpool said, holding his hands up in surrender as Batman drew another batarang.

"Who are you?" Batman demanded to know.

"It doesn't matter, Bats! I'm here and I want to help. I'm a huge fan and I would just love to slay some zombies with you."

Just then, the cop in the back threw up green vomit and began growling loudly. Everyone in the room knew what was going on.

"This couldn't be anymore cliché." Deadpool said, drawing his twin swords and rolling his eyes.


	5. Gardalo Rises

"Let's do this!" Deadpool screamed at the top of his lungs, running at the infected cop and jumping in the air with the swords.

He swung the swords near the cops neck and after colliding with the flesh of the cop, his head flew off, landing on the counter and scaring the drunk away from the drink shelf. Blood flew across the whole of the store and covered the hobo who screamed in fear. The cop's body fell to its knees and hit the ground with a disgusting splat. Deadpool landed on the bloody floor and was deeply unsatisfied.

"Damn." he said with a sad voice.

"I thought that was going to be cooler."

Batman and Joell stood in the back of the gas station, staring at him with confusion still. Deadpool took a deep breath and looked at the both of them.

"Guys. I'm here. Let's just accept that fact and continue on. You gotta fight Gardalo to stop this, Bats. Let's get out of here."

"Garda-who?" Joell asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Gardalo? Ancient devil god who revives the dead and makes them do his bidding? He had a book and everything." Deadpool said.

"Never heard of it." Joell replied.

"_Illiterate_." Deadpool spat in disgust, facing the door and ready to fight the zombie horde ahead.

"Wait!" Batman yelled to him.

Deadpool turned around and faced him, waiting for his question.

"There was a Book of the Dead stolen tonight. Whoever did it had followers. Is this what you're talking about?"

"Yep. World's Greatest Detective for ya!" Deadpool said, facing the empty space again and talking into it.

* * *

><p>So, the heroes were on their journey, all packed with weapons and determination on a mission they had been invested in for the past five minutes. Deadpool tried his best to explain who he was to the bat, the clerk, and the drunk after various hours of zombie slaying. Their weapons were bloodied and nearly dull, blood coated their bodies, and nothing seemed to stop them. The city of Gotham had drastically changed in just two hours. Buildings were set ablaze, gunshots echoed across the city, and the continuous moans set up a dreary atmosphere for any survivors.<p>

"Alfred. We're nearing the epicenter of the EMP signal. Do you see any signs of the zombies?" Batman asked through his cowl as they walked across the railroad tracks with the Pearson Warehouse in sight ahead. A loud howling wind nearly deafened them as they continued on their way through the dangerous paths ahead. Deadpool spotted a group of zombies and quickly approached them, not wasting any time as he quickly removed their heads with a few quick slices of his blades.

"Just a few running around, sir. Are you sure this Deadpool can be trusted?" Alfred replied.

Batman paused for a moment as Deadpool finished his killings and returned to him, the hobo, and Joell.

"I don't know yet."

"He seems to know a lot about our universe for supposedly not being from around here. What are you thinking? An alien or something?" Alfred asked.

"I don't know, He looks human, talks like one, and acts like one. Just the annoying kind." Batman grumbled as Deadpool looked around the warehouse, looking for this 'Gardalo'.

Deadpool slid his swords back into their holders as he talked to Joell who was still using the DVD rack as a weapon. Joell felt uncomfortable around him and backed up when he tried to come near.

"What?" Joell asked him with an attitude.

"I'm sorry for calling you fat. You're actually a cool guy, Joey." Deadpool said, slapping him hard on the back.

"It's Joell, dammit! And would you stop?"

"Listen... honestly," Deadpool said, trying his best to sound sincere and friendly.

"I never thought someone fat like you could kill a zombie. Nevertheless with a friggin' DVD rack. Now that's what I call awesome!"

"Thanks." Joell said. He was unfazed.

* * *

><p>"Are you really drinking on the job, Hobo?" Deadpool asked the hobo as he pulled out a small flask of strong-smelling liquor.<p>

"I'm thirsty." he mumbled back.

"No, you're an alcoholic." Deadpool replied, leaning in close to his face.

Batman shook his head as he kicked open the door to the warehouse and saw evidence of the nasty events that had occurred just hours before. Dead bodies were everywhere, the entire place smelled like burning corpses, and a large wooden crate had been broken into. Deadpool entered the room and looked around, leaning down beside a dead follower of Vlad Baedguy and picked up his ceremonial dagger.

"Sweet blade!" Deadpool shouted loudly, picking up the bone dagger and holding it to the light of the moon that busted through the broken skylight.

"I call dibs!" he continued in a sing-song voice.

"What is this place?" Joell asked, feeling the evil inside.

"The center of what's happening in Gotham. It's all because of that book." Batman replied, pointing to the Book of the Dead.

"What should we do to it? Burn it? Rip it apart?" Hobo said, taking another swig as he lowered his broken whiskey bottle.

"No. I don't think that's going to work. If we do that, I'm pretty sure Gardalo would be free forever." Deadpool replied as the group circled the book and questioned how to properly approach it.

"Speaking of him..." Batman asked.

"Where is he?"

"I don't know. I know I'm from a superior company and I'm better than you but I ain't psychic, Bats."

Batman gave him a look before beginning to run his hand over the cover of the book. He could feel the evil power running inside it. It hummed and ached to be released. If Gardalo was already released, what worse evil was still hiding with the Book?

"Well, we gotta do something. We came all this way." Joell said, walking over to the Book and scanning the old writing and drawings within it.

"I just don't understand." Batman said.

"What?" Deadpool answered.

"There is no scientific explanation for this. You can't say some spell in a book and expect a devil god to emerge from it."

"Bats," Deadpool said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"You've fought an alien. I wouldn't take devil god out of the realm of possibilty. My universe is worse so be grateful."

"What do you mean?"

"In my world, our main heroes is someone dressed like the American Flag. And there's also this one kid who got bit by a spider so he gained powers."

Batman was puzzled and quickly shook his head.

"There's something wrong with your world. Remind me to never visit."

"Don't blame you. But I _do_ think you and Wolverine would get together good. Except he's 5'2 and a cigar smoker. You're everything he's not. Except the asshole part. You guys are twinning in that department."

Batman glanced at him and Wade simply laughed before a loud boom shook the warehouse and the men got into alert mode. Joell braced himself and backed up against Hobo who raised his whiskey bottle, prepared to fight. Deadpool drew out his swords, passing a pistol to both Hobo and Joell. They made sure the guns were loaded and waited for the threat to arrive.

"WHO DARES ENTER MY RESIDENCE?" a loud, otherworldly voice asked.

Deadpool was about to stand up but Batman stood in front of him, standing tall and proud.

"Hm... the _Batman_. I've heard a great deal about you in very little time.

"You have little time remaining in this plane of existence... Gardalo."

Gardalo's form shot down from the skylight, forming the foggy reflections of his late parents. Batman tried his best to stay away from them and cut off the emotions he was dying to let it out.

"You dare call me by name, peasant? I am your Lord! The one who saved you! Honor and love me!" Gardalo yelled at him.

"Gardalo... Shrmadalo." Deadpool mocked, walking past Hobo with a baseball bat that materialized from his backpack full of wonderful tools.

The devil god yelled loudly and it echoed throughout the next six blocks. From all of the exit doors, zombies flooded in at an incredible speed, trying their best to attack the foursome of zombie slayers. Joell and Hobo worked together well, switching weapons for better range and taking out zombies like it was a game. Deadpool and Batman both eliminated zombies with quick precision and waited as the numbers began to die out and the bodies began to pile. Blood flew, screams echoed, and the weapons began to look worse and worse. When he realized his zombie army was no match for them, he materialized out of thin air and wore a long red robe similar to Batman's cape. He was a Romanian man with dark complexion and a strong accent. He had three inch fingernails that caused discomfort after the Hobo was caught in his grip.

"You can't defeat me! I'm a god!" he screamed, holding Hobo higher than all the rest.

Just then, one of the stronger zombies tossed Deadpool into the crate containing the Book of the Dead in the first place and he groaned in pain. He pushed a broken panel off of himself and looked at the ground below him and smiled a mile wide. He pulled out three of the matches in the old-fashioned matchbook and yelled for Hobo. Hobo's head flicked in his direction and he imitated drinking from the flask. At first, and mostly due to the blood leaving his head, he was confused until he saw the matchbooks in his hand. He gave him a wink and Hobo became extremely angry, trying to grab his flask, eventually reaching it, downing the entire bottle and tossing the bottle away. He held some in his mouth and pushed it through his teeth at Gardalo's face. Gardalo yelled loudly and dropped Hobo, falling to the ground before Deadpool ran over behind him and lit three of the matches. Instantly, Gardalo lit up like a Christmas tree and he ran around in pain, with Batman looking on in complete shock. Gardalo screamed bloody murder and when he and Deadpool crossed paths again, Deadpool kicked him twice in the head to make him stay down.

"Never knew that gods were so flammable." Deadpool replied with a smirk.

And with that final showdown, Gardalo blew up in a small explosion of dust, ash, and cremated body parts. The rest of the zombies turned into dust as well and within a minute, the entire warehouse and possibly the entire city of Gotham was silent. Deadpool cleared his throat and began stepping around the ash piles that were once the zombies and Gardalo.

"You know what?" Deadpool asked.

"What?" Batman replied.

"I thought all of this was going to be a lot more..."

"Dramatic?" Batman answered.

"Yep."

Just as things calmed down and the night began to turn into day, another loud sonic boom sounded and the group looked all around for the source.

"What is that?" Hobo asked, wiping the excess alcohol from his mouth as a familiar person was recognizable as they floated through the darkened room.

"It's... It's Superman." Batman said.

Batman wasn't lying. It _was_ Superman. But with dark green eyes and an overbearing hunger for human flesh.

"Uh-oh." Deadpool said.

"This will be interesting."

**TO BE CONTINUED?**

**FIND OUT HALLOWEEN: 2015!**


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